Common Dating And Relationship Mistakes Men Make
Unless you plan on dating women for the rest of your life, dating and relationships go hand in hand. I’ve seen men who can approach any woman, build magnificent rapport, get her phone number, set up the first date, and then fail miserably at the relationship. In survey after survey, more than 90% of single men eventually want to have a long-term relationship with a mature, fun, and affectionate woman. There are many skills that you can develop when learning how to approach a woman and build up the attraction so she’s really into you.
Guess what happens after a few months of dating? You both begin to notice more and more things about one another. You can have all the dating skills or games in the world, but if you fail to have a basic understanding on the dynamics of having a two-way relationship, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. I’ve seen men who have dated hundreds of women over the course of their youth but cannot seem to maintain a healthy relationship. Remember, you cannot change another person, so the place to start is with yourself Dating and relationships.
A very common mistake is acting needy. You can communicate neediness just by the way you stand, walk, talk or lack of talking. It’s difficult to hide neediness. Some men are able to get a handle on it long enough to find a single woman. But then the neediness resurfaces in the relationship because they never dealt with the real, core issues that were causing that neediness. Neediness comes in many forms. Some of it is learned behavior such as buying a woman you just met a drink. It communicates neediness but this is something men learn to do from their peers, the media, and their general upbringing.
Another common dating mistake is not understanding how women become attracted to men. Women become attracted to men quite differently than men become attracted to women. Men are extremely visual and while women are visual to a certain extent, they care more about how a man makes them feel. If you can learn how to evoke these emotional triggers than your physical appearance isn’t that big a deal. Some of the most successful pick up artists in the world are average to below average-looking men. Since some men don’t understand how attraction works they do things like try to impress them or even worse, they try and use logic on her that he’s that “nice guy”. Logic never works when trying to pick up on a woman.
Here’s one that I see over and over again: spending way too much time with her. You do not want to crowd her and you should give her the space she needs. If she’s the clingy type then you need to put your foot down. If you spend every day with someone you just started dating you’re not giving yourself time to plan, develop, and grow your own life, which makes you a better partner. This carries into relationships where I see people spend every waking moment together. Not only is this not healthy, but you’re not giving the other person the opportunity to miss you. Here’s something else to think about. Men generally do not mature until they are in their late 20s or in their 30s. This is why I don’t recommend any man getting married before the age of 30. Also any single man should date a variety of women so they can have a better understanding on what they really want. What I wanted at age 18 and age 25 were totally different. And now that I’m in my 30s it’s evolved.
A major mistake men make is that they focus their energies on one woman at a time. Young, single attractive women generally date more than one person. In fact, when I date someone I assume they’re flirting, meeting, and possibly dating other men. It doesn’t bother me because we’re only dating. What happens when you court only one woman is that if it doesn’t work out with her or she flakes out on a date, two things happen to you: one, you begin to develop tunnel vision where you begin to think and feel that this woman is the only woman for you at that point in your life. Two, you’re out of a date for that night or weekend! This is why I’ll get multiple phone numbers over the course of a week where ever I go, not just bars and clubs. In fact, I prefer meeting women in normal places such as markets, book stores, walking on the street, and I even picked up on a woman at a gas station. How hard is it to say “Hi” or “What’s up?” or “Nice car.”
There is no magic number on how many women you should date to find out what you really want. The important thing is that you go out and there and do it. Another common dating mistake is not knowing when to let go. I had a friend recently tell me that his girlfriend of 5 months demanded that they move in together or they were over. He was bewildered. I told him that if he gave into her selfish and immature ultimatum that she would own him body and soul and that I would lose respect in him as a man. I told him the best thing for him to do was to break up with her, go out and start dating other girls, and move on.